Istikhara explained.
Istikhara is a prayer of two rak'ahs followed by a specific supplication, asking Allah to decree a matter if it is good for your religion, your livelihood and your outcome, and to turn it away if it is not.
اِسْتِخَارَةAlso written Salat al-Istikhara, Istikhaarah, Istekhara
How to pray it
Pray two rak'ahs that are not one of the obligatory prayers. Then, after the prayer, say the supplication the Prophet ﷺ taught, naming the matter you are deciding at the point in the du'a where the matter is mentioned.
Jabir ibn Abdullah reported that the Prophet ﷺ taught them istikhara in all their affairs the way he taught them a surah of the Qur'an. That comparison is the measure of how routine it was meant to be. It is not reserved for crises, and it is not a last resort after every other avenue has been tried.
There is no fixed number of times. If you are still undecided, pray it again. There is no requirement to do it before sleeping, and no requirement to face a particular direction beyond the qiblah you already face in prayer.
What istikhara does not do
It does not produce a dream. Nothing in the hadith mentions a dream, a colour, a sign, or a feeling in the chest. That entire apparatus is folk practice, and it has caused real harm: people have refused sound proposals over a dream and accepted unsound ones for the same reason.
It does not replace investigation. The du'a asks Allah to decree what is good and turn away what is not. It does not ask to be told the answer in advance, and it is not a substitute for asking about a person, checking what they claim, and consulting people whose judgement you trust. Consultation, mashwarah, and istikhara sit alongside each other.
It does not bind you. After praying it you proceed as you judge best, and what unfolds is the response. If the matter is made easy, that is the answer. If it is turned away, that is also the answer, and the du'a asked for exactly that.
Using it in a marriage decision
The sequence that works is: gather what can be known, ask the people who know the person, pray istikhara, then decide and commit. Praying before there is anything concrete to weigh gives the du'a nothing to name.
The du'a itself asks for good in three specific things: your religion, your livelihood, and the outcome of your affair. That is a usable checklist for a proposal, and it is worth reading in that order, because most people evaluate a match in exactly the reverse one.
The evidence
The Prophet ﷺ used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara, in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Qur'an. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two rak'at prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, and Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter, then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, and then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me in my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter, then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, and make me satisfied with it."
Sahih al-Bukhari 1166 (Book 19, Hadith 45), Jabir ibn Abdullah
Common questions
How do I know the answer to my istikhara?
By what happens next, not by a sign. The supplication asks Allah to decree the matter and make it easy if it is good, and to turn it away if it is not. A matter that becomes straightforward has been answered; so has one that closes. There is nothing in the hadith about dreams, colours or feelings.
Can I pray istikhara more than once?
Yes. There is no stated limit, and repeating it while you remain undecided is well established practice.
Do I have to see a dream after istikhara?
No, and expecting one is the most common mistake made with this prayer. The hadith of Jabir mentions no dream at all. A dream is not evidence and should not decide a marriage.
When should I pray istikhara about a proposal?
After you have something specific to weigh, and before you commit. Praying it before you know anything about the person leaves the du'a nothing concrete to name, and praying it after you have already given your word turns it into a formality.
Can someone else pray istikhara for me?
The prayer as taught is for the person deciding, in the first person, about their own affair. Asking others to make du'a for you is good and separate; it is not istikhara on your behalf.