Marriage is not just a moment of joy - it is a weighty covenant, a step into worship, a means of preserving one’s īmān and safeguarding the soul. Many young men today enter this path, but how few truly realise the depth and purpose behind it.
It is easy to get caught in the excitement - the ceremonies, the gatherings, the hopes of a new beginning. May Allah reward the sheikh for this beautiful advice - one that may anchor your marriage for life, if you engrave it in your heart and act upon it.
Then comes that sacred moment - when the nikāḥ has been concluded, and the bride is now your wife in the sight of Allah. The families step away, the guests have gone, and the door is gently closed behind you. For the first time, it is just the two of you, sitting beside each other. Hearts are shy, eyes lowered, words hesitant. What will you say?
Of course, words of affection and love will come. The smiles, the shy and nervous laughter, the joy - all of it will flow naturally, as it should. But after those first greetings, those kind words and tender questions, take a moment. A moment that will define the path ahead.
Ask her: "Why did we get married?"
Let that be the first true question you plant in her heart. Not about matters of worldly life, nor about anything that holds no importance in this beautiful and happy moment. Rather, direct that moment to the greatest thing - which is worship.
She may respond with what most say out of shyness and nervousness: "Because it's the way of life… it’s what people do." But you, my brother, guide her to see beyond that.
Tell her: "We married to complete our īmān. We married to perfect our worship of Allah. We married to protect ourselves from sin and to help each other in obeying Allah. We married so that we may live a life that pleases Him."
Link your union to the words of your Lord: ﴿وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ﴾ "And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)." (Surah adh-Dhāriyāt, 51:56)
Let her know from the very first moment that your home will be built not on desires, but on devotion. Not on culture, but on the Qur’an and Sunnah. Let it be clear between you that your lives are for Allah - and everything you build will be weighed in His scale.
Tell her: “We do not want to cooperate in disobedience, but in taqwā. We want to look at what pleases Allah and do it together - and if something displeases Him, we will leave it for His sake, together.” Make this your agreement from the beginning.
Because when disagreements come - and they will - you can return to this foundation. When challenges come - and they will - you will remember why you chose each other. When difficulties knock - and they surely will - you will stand together upon something stronger than emotion: you will stand upon īmān - for you have built a firm foundation: the foundation of Islam, īmān, the piety of Allah, and a love rooted in seeking His pleasure.
O Allah, Lord of the heavens and the earth, the One who joins hearts in truth and unites souls in worship - bless every marriage founded upon Your obedience. Make it a means of completing īmān, perfecting worship, and shielding from sin.
O Allah, place between husband and wife love for Your sake, mercy rooted in taqwā, and a bond that grows stronger through every act of devotion to You. Make their home a place where Your name is remembered, Your book is recited, and Your pleasure is sought.