My dear brothers and sisters,
Among the greatest forms of oppression that has silently spread in many Muslim homes is when a father - who is meant to be a guardian, a protector, and a source of compassion - forces his daughter into marriage with someone she does not want, whether it be her cousin or another man, often for personal interest, social reputation, or simply out of neglect for her heart and choice. This is not only a violation of her rights, but a betrayal of the trust that Allah entrusted him with as a guardian.
The truth is clear, as the scholars have mentioned: it is not permissible for a guardian to force his adult, intelligent virgin daughter into marriage without her consent. This is the correct view among the two opinions of the scholars, the position of the Ḥanafiyyah, a narration from Imām Aḥmad, and the choice of Shaykh al-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah - may Allah have mercy on them all.
The Prophet ﷺ said in the hadith of Ibn ʿAbbās - may Allah be pleased with them both: “A virgin girl came to the Prophet ﷺ and mentioned that her father had married her while she was unwilling, so the Prophet ﷺ gave her the choice (to approve or annul it).”
And he ﷺ said: “A virgin is not to be married until her permission is sought.”
And he ﷺ said: “And the virgin - her father must seek her permission concerning herself.”
Shaykh al-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah - may Allah have mercy on him - powerfully said: “As for marrying her while she hates the marriage, this opposes both the principles and the intellect. Allah did not permit the guardian to force her into a sale, a rental, food, drink, or clothing that she does not want; so how could he force her into sexual relations and intimate companionship with one whom she dislikes? Allah has placed between spouses affection and mercy, and if this cannot be achieved except with her hatred and aversion towards him, then what affection and mercy would remain?” Majmūʿ al-Fatāwā by Ibn Taymiyyah (32/25)
Reflect on this, my dear brothers and sisters: a father cannot sell his daughter’s property without her permission if she is mature, nor can he force her to eat food she detests - so how then can he force her to share her bed and her life with one whom she despises?
Real-life tragedies bear witness to this oppression. We hear of daughters married against their will, only to spend their days in bitterness and their nights in tears. Some endure lifeless marriages, their souls broken under the weight of forced companionship. Others, out of desperation, resort to khulʿ - seeking release from men they never chose in the first place. And some remain shackled in silence, too fearful of dishonoring their parents to voice their agony.
What kind of affection and mercy is left in such marriages? What kind of family is built upon coercion, resentment, and grief? Islam came to establish justice and mercy, not oppression and compulsion. If the Prophet ﷺ gave the choice to the woman whose father had forced her, how then can fathers today deny their daughters that same right?
O fathers, fear Allah in your daughters. Do not make their lives a sacrifice for your own desires, tribal pride, or worldly interests. Marriage is not a business transaction; it is a sacred bond meant to bring tranquility, affection, and mercy. To force a daughter into the arms of a man she does not want is not guardianship - it is tyranny.
My dear brothers and sisters, let us revive the justice of our religion in our homes. Let daughters breathe freely in choosing their spouses, for they, more than anyone, know who their hearts can incline towards. As the Prophet ﷺ taught us, marriage must be built upon consent, affection, and mercy - not coercion, compulsion, and oppression.